spacematic.net

Yesterday, Russell over at Banapana wrote an entry on the use and abuse of links. In particular, he’s not all that fond of links that say “click here.” I’ll have to admit that upon reading it, I began to feel a little self-conscious. After all, there are links in my archives and search pages that say “click here to read full entry” or something like that. Plus, the whole damn sentence is linked!
Russ contends that such links are akin to the sticky sludge that spills from the wastewater nozzles at the Department Of Redundancy Deptartment. True as this may be, I believe that there are still many web users who wouldn’t know a link if it reached out of their monitors and clicked ‘em in the ass. This is especially the case with today’s web, where there is no consistency in a link’s visual appearance. Many sites’ links aren’t underlined until a user rolls his or her cursor over them, and things are made worse for the common noob when weasel designers refuse to differentiate their links with a color that contrasts significantly from their body text. If neither of the typical conventions are followed, even I have difficulty knowing whether an author wishes me to click. I could blame designers all the live long day for committing to bad decisions, especially on the basics, but it still remains the responsibility of the user to determine what this whole World Wide Web thing is about anyway. Even the best designers can’t anticipate some morons’ special talents for misinterpreting or misusing a clean and simple interface. There is no fee or test required for using a mouse and keyboard. I am living proof of that.

I trust no one until they give me a clear reason to do so. Therfore, I don’t trust the majority of web users when it comes to using their brains. After reading countless forum posts, comments and “FWD:Fw:fwd:Re:” style emails, people have proven themselves incapable of proper English usage. I know that bad spelling is not the litmust test for intelligence, but it’s not exactly putting your best foot forward, either. How can we expect most web patrons to understand the functionality of a link unless it says “click here?” The concept of the hyperlink is widely understood, but many people are afraid to click unless the very link text itself tells them exactly what to do, followed by an explanation of where it goes. It is the Web equivalent of a real world button upon which is written “press the button to do the thing.” Wait! Scratch that. I wouldn’t press any button that said that. What thing is it referring to? “Press the button to initiate meltdown?” “Activate the hydraulic press?” “Tickle the kitten?” Who knows? Maybe users just need to navigate friendly websites, places where they can trust the author not to lead them into a universe of appliance porn and llama-cuddling fetishists.
I think that a link’s included text should depend greatly upon the expected intelligence level of a given site’s audience. As such, I’m not sure whether a text proxy for a button in and of itself qualifies as some kind of new punctuation. If the humble link is eventually assumed into the diverse languages of the world as punctuation, I hope it’s when all those forum-posting goons approach mastery of their native tongues, or learn to preview and spell-check before posting. Little Bobby Afterschool doesn’t seem to understand that most people who read the forums will never meet him. The manner in which he writes reflects who he is to the world. In fact, that is ALL he will ever be to ninety-nine percent of the people who read “I thank your stuped so stfu!” Sadly, this bad behavior in regard to language is not just the domain of the Bobby Afterschools of the world. It also applies to adults.

Just to prove how difficult it can be to understand a writer’s intent when they pay no heed to spelling or punctuation, I have posted a snippet of text that describes a recent Yanni episode, replacing certain real words with omissions, misspellings and bad grammar that I have actually encountered in the past. Read, if you dare:

He was arrested at hes home Friday after an aleged dumestic dispute with his girlfrend.

Yanni, whose regal name is John Yanni Christopher, denies the allegations.

These allegators are crool, false, without meret and baseles,” said the statemint releesed by his manager. “At a more appropriate time and pace, I hope and pay I will have an oportuntity to adress my fans and colleges all over the world.”

Police say the sinner-pianist asked his grrlfriend, Silvia Barthes, to leav his beachfront home in Manalapan.

She told polece she attempted to pack her clothing, but teh 51-year-old musician assalted her.

Do you see how dangerous improper language usage can be? If one read the article in this condition, they would get the impression that Yanni was arrested for assaulting his girlfriend. Oh, wait! He was! HA HA HA HA. By the way, the original text was taken from the CNN website and fooled around with by me. Not to plagiarize, but to make a point. –mike